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Discussion Forum
Why do you play? 31 Replies
Started by Roger. Last reply by Lonnie Smith Feb 21.
Let's Write A Song Together... Shall We? 19 Replies
Started by Mike Holcombe. Last reply by William "Leland" Luster Feb 19.
Main Focus 10 Replies
Started by diabetico. Last reply by Brian Nelson Jan 8.
Comment Wall
Comment
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 7, 2010 at 5:05pm -
~Magickal Graphics~
~Magickal Graphics~
~Magickal Graphics~
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 7, 2010 at 5:02pm
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~Magickal Graphics~
~Magickal Graphics~
~Magickal Graphics~
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Comment by William "Leland" Luster on March 7, 2010 at 3:37pm
- Someone has corrupted my user page at MGS.ning.com and I Am Not Amused at all. I may abandon all my sites at .ning.com and become availiable exclusively at www.reverbnation.com/williamlelandluster . See you there my very talented friends. God Bless each one of you I have enjoyed SO MUCH, it was good while it lasted LOL!!! Leland
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Comment by GARY SPARKS on March 3, 2010 at 6:43pm - aye..she's no better than she ought to be is sure
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 2, 2010 at 12:56pm
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While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot @sshole? " he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face...............PRICELESS
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 2, 2010 at 12:53pm
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On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.... For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
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- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Too good Mickey, it shows that you have a lot of experiance entertaining bar audiances and the like. Stay alive and vital my friend, you must be a real human being??? Le
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 2, 2010 at 12:07pm
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I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to F*** off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, "F**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
Wife gets naked & asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!
An elderly couple is attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
Woman answers phone and pervert on the other end says “Have you got a big fat sweaty hairy c---?”
woman says. Yeah he’s lying on the f------’ settee, do you want him?
Two black mums on a bus. One says to the other. "Is ya baby teevin yet?" The other says “ Yea man, so far he’s got me two dvds, a mobile phone and a laptop!”
If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chance of a stroke. But if you buy her the whole bottle, she will probably suck it for you as well!
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- I must respect and admire a person who boldly speaks their mind openly, unabated by Peer Presure. Laughter is good medicine my friend, thanks for the comic relief LOL!!! I learned a long time ago, sometimes we all need to laugh or cry (no crime to do either). Too many proud peacocks in this pagan wasteland my friend, bend a little (maybe) but don't let anything break your spirit. It would be cool to have a Comics Corner on this network I think. If one comes up please notify me so I can broadcast the address ok??? A good laugh like a good cry can work wonders in our short lives to be sure LOL!!! Bring on those tears.mp3
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Comment by Mickey Flynn on March 2, 2010 at 6:22am
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An Irishman walks into this bar on Bourbon Street and says to the bar owner,
Hi There, I was just passing and I couldn’t help but notice but there isn’t a soul drinking in your bar and it has already turned 8oclock, he adds, this is the last night of my holidays over here but I've spent all my cash and I fly home tomorrow but I reckon I can do you a favour and says to the bar owner, if you give me free beer all night and 15 percent of your bar takings I’ll guarantee you that I’ll pack your bar out by midnight, with a look of apprehension the bar owner says, and just how do you think that you are going to do that pal ?
Paddy reaches into his travel bag and pulls out this 10 inch dwarf dressed up as a leprecon and takes it over to the old honky tonk piano in the corner, the dwarf rolls up its sleeves and starts to belt out Irish Jigs, Country and Western Ballads, Boogie Woogie tunes, Classical Piano pieces, Jazz songs, famous Rock numbers, Pop songs and every Blues Standard under the sun, come 10 o’clock the bar is starting to swing, by 11 o’clock folks are up dancing and singing along, by midnight come closing time the bar is crammed full five deep at the bar, come closing time and after everyone has gone home the bar owner turns to paddy who is sitting at the end of the bar merrily drunk and he says to him, well paddy that is the most amazing thing that I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life can you tell me where can I get one of these lepricon Dwarfs you got there, paddy says, Be Jesus, you don’t want to know that, if I mention it I tell ya it’ll be f….. dangerous !! the bar owner says hey look Paddy I don’t care I’ve got to get my hands on one just tell me and I’ll give you 50 percent of tonights takings, Paddy says ah well OK then, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya and he reaches into his travel bag once again and pulls out this little magic genie bottle and says to the bar owner ok you’ll have to be quick cause when I takes the cork off this bottle you’ll only have 3 seconds to make a wish which will come true and he pops the cork off , all of a sudden sparks of static electricity start to leap from the bottle and jump around contacting with everything in the room, a second later thunderbolts of lightning begin to crackle and explode above, another second later a tornado starts to form inside the bar and howling winds and driving rain smash up and trash everything in the room with the bar knee deep in water, Paddy shouts don’t forget to make your wish,
the Bar Owner stutters thinks quickly and shouts out… OH Yeah a a a..
“A MILLION BUCKS”,
paddy rams the cork back into the bottle and with another blinding flash of light all of a sudden everything returns to normal and all these white fluffy feathers float down from the rafters, another second later in another blinding flash of light the whole bar is suddenly filled with a million DUCKS all quacking around on the floor of the bar - Paddy turns to the bar owner and says..
see I did warn you mate when I made my wish do you think I asked for
a 10 inch Pianist !!!
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